“ Complaining lets a bully know that a victim is in the neighborhood . ” — MAYA ANGELOU
I recently completed Will Bowen’s (@WRBowen) book A Complaint Free World and have decided to take up the challenge to not complain for 21 days. The challenge is to wear a bracelet on one wrist (he makes one that can be used for this challenge) and that starts day 1. Anytime you complain, criticize, use sarcasm, or gossip you have to switch the bracelet to the other wrist and start over again with the 21 days. It typically takes people months to complete this challenge. I use a hair tie on my wrist to act as a visual reminder.
I started the challenge on October 11th. I had a whole week where I couldn’t go 1 full day without complaining or being sarcastic. I’m now on day 2 of my 11th time trying. So far I haven’t gone more than 2 full days not complaining. What an eye opener! I’ve discovered I used sarcasm more than I thought. With today’s current events I find myself running my mouth off with sarcasm.
I got my ballot in the mail “Ooooh I can’t wait to vote this year!”
Brandon get’s the mail “Oooh what kind of gems are in the mail today?”
So. Much. Sarcasm. After a week of not going one full day without complaining about current events Brandon suggested I try this challenge another year. It’s definitely been challenging in today’s environment but I figure if I can stop complaining in 2020 then more power to me. It’s raised my awareness to how disingenuous sarcasm is and how unpleasant it is for others to hear my complaining. I compare it to being the Pigpen character in Peanuts where you have this cloud a discontent and negativity around you.
This challenge has made me shift my thoughts towards the events that happen to me.
We got stuck in traffic from a car accident our way to meet a friend for a hike. Oh well, can’t do anything about it. It gives us more time to listen to our favorite podcast. I’m glad we’re safe and I hope the people that got in the accident are okay. We still get to hike with our friend.
I was asked to join a call with a large client in 2 hours and create a custom report to present to them on the call. [Deep breath] You can do this. You know how to find and pull the information you need and if you get stuck you have co-workers that can answer your questions and help out if needed. Block off your calendar, turn off Slack and get to work.
It’s date night ,we’re hungry and decide to ride our bikes to our favorite local taco shop and eat tacos in the park. We ride half way there and realize we didn’t bring our masks. We ride back to the house and we get caught by the train that runs near our neighborhood. Oh well, what are we going to do? It won’t take that long. We still get to eat our favorite tacos in the park and have our date night. It’s okay.
I’ve had to take a different attitude towards those events that normally left me grumbling and complaining. Those bummer events like getting caught in traffic? Oh well, it happens, life goes on. Getting an unexpected issue handed to me? It’s okay, I can find a solution. I can deal with this. It makes life seem so much more pleasant and has left me feeling happier and that’s after only a few weeks of attempting this challenge.
A few of my favorite excerpts from the book:
“Complaining never attracts what you want ; it perpetuates what you do not want.”
“Think of your mind as a manufacturer and your mouth as a customer . The manufacturer produces negative thoughts that are purchased by the customer when they are expressed as complaints . It goes like this : The manufacturer ( your brain ) produces a negative thought , which the customer ( your mouth ) purchases by complaining . If the customer will stop buying what the manufacturer produces , the manufacturer will retool.”
“Gossip is complaining to inspire envy…The underlying message behind gossip is that the gossip feels superior to the person being gossiped about and wants you to acknowledge this.”
“The world of those who are happy is different from the world of those who are not.”
No Complaints November 2020. If there’s any time to take on the challenge, this is the month to do it. Despite everything that has gone on this year, we have far more to be grateful for than to complain about.
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